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He was clearly head over heels. In the beginning, I was slightly skeptical, as I thought it was the typical lustful ‘honeymoon period’ that was influencing him, but I was truly glad to hear him happy and I accepted the invitation.
Fast forward to today, they are still together, and I know Marta much better. I now understand why John was overwhelmingly happy at the beginning of their relationship, and why he’s so in love with her today.
Marta is a great partner to my friend, she’s an amazing friend to me, and she also displays some personality traits that make it particularly difficult to forget her. These are characteristics that you can easily learn and apply to improve your relationships and truly connect with others.
Being a Natural Giver
An example of this is when John lost his job. Marta didn’t hesitate to help and told him he could move into her place, so he didn’t have to pay any rent. When he found a new job, he told Marta he would give her back his part of the rent for the months he was unemployed.
However, Marta refused his offer. She told him he could contribute to the rent from that moment on, but that she didn’t want the money for the past few months. She did him a favor — a big favor — without expecting anything in return.
I have always found people like Marta to be unique. They are selfless, and that in itself makes them special.
Laughing at Yourself
When you take yourself too seriously you hold yourself to an impossibly high standard — which inevitably causes problems both for you and those around you. Anytime you don’t meet that standard, you feel bad about yourself.
People who don’t take themselves too seriously are OK with who they are and what they do because they love themselves and have learned to embrace their imperfect self. If something doesn’t go their way, they have the ability to laugh at themselves.
As John Haltiwanger mentions in one of his articles, being able to laugh at yourself is a sign of mental toughness. Also, as Mark Twain once said, “The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.” And it’s true.
Being Genuinely Happy for Other People’s Success
Envy is undoubtedly one of the worst threats to any kind of relationship. Miserable, insecure people are inherently jealous, which prevents them from connecting with others. People like Marta, instead, are truly happy when it comes to others’ achievements.
I remember when John got promoted in his department shortly after he got his new job. Marta was over the moon. She wanted to celebrate the promotion and organized a dinner at their place with some friends.
As Sean Kernan mentions in one of his articles, envy can be detrimental to relationships. When your partner is your cheerleader instead, and vice-versa, the bond gets stronger, because you both feel you have a true ally by your side. And this applies to any kind of relationship.
How to apply this, in a nutshell
Don’t compare yourself to others. You can be as successful as others; the important thing is that you pursue your dreams as they do theirs.
Learn to celebrate others’ accomplishments. Even if it’s not your own success, you have a reason to feel good — for someone else. So just go and feel good. Don’t feel threatened by other people’s success, make it an excuse to celebrate life instead.
Being Passionate About Something
I have always found people who are highly passionate about something to be very attractive. It could be enthusiasm for ten different things or even just one simple hobby.
People who pursue a career, a hobby, or any kind of dream with passion transmit a sense of the thrill of life that you can hardly ignore. Their enthusiasm and passion are contagious, and that in itself makes them unforgettable.
How to apply this, in a nutshell
Let’s be honest. You can’t force passion. So, make sure you find something to get involved with that you truly love. It can be writing, playing an instrument, your job, dancing, anything.
Get clarity of thought over what your life purpose is and go after it. If you haven’t identified anything yet, try different things; learn, travel, and read a lot. Enjoy the process. You will eventually find your life path, and you will fall in love with it.
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This post was culled from Medium and was written by Sira M.
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